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Humorous Scripts: ASDA Author: Douglas Brown

This Scottish comedy sketch relates to the Supermarket price wars following the dramatic increases in petrol (gasoline) costs during 2006. 




WULLY                                              Shoey. would yer take a look at this.


SHOEY                                              Mah gaud ave never seen anything like it


WULLY                                              Aw rose petrol pumps marchin across the road an swingin their hoses.


SHOEY                                              Aye, Rat wan in the front must be their leader,


WULLY                                              Can yer see where rare going.  Shoey


SHOEY                                              They went intae rat Tesco fillin station.


WULLY                                              My goad they've pulled out their guns.


SHOEY                                              Aye, An their firin petrol at yon ither pumps.


WULLY                                              Sno jist petrol, Mate.  Naw, their bloody flame        thowers, they are.


SHOEY                                              Gaud, Look at the devastation. Rat wee Ford KA never stood a chance.


WULLY                                              [Then it dawns on him].Och, It must be yon ASDA     PETROL WARS!



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