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Humorous Scripts: Queen Visits Kelvingrove Art Gallery Author: Stuart Macfarlane


WOMAN 1:        Excuse me hen but there’s a queue fur the lavvie.

QUEEN:             One is very sorry but one is in a great hurry for one needs to declare this wonderful art gallery officially open.

WOMAN 2:        Look luv, jist cos you’ve goat a crown on yer heed an that disnae meen ye need a crap any mare than we dae.

QUEEN:             Pardon one but one must say that as your queen one has  certain privileges so one must insist that one goes first.

WOMAN 1:      Ow, she’s full o’ hersel’ int she?

WOMAN 2:      Aye, who dis she think she is?


WOMAN 1:      The wee bugger! Did ye see that? She jist rushed in afair us.

QUEEN:            (MUFFLED VOICE FROM WITHIN TOILET CUBICLE) Let that be a lesson to you (SHORT PAUSE) a royal flush always beats a pair of commoners.

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