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Humorous Scripts: Author: Douglas Brown
Headline: How much longer can Wendy Alexander hold on? 27 June 2008
By Hamish Macdonell
WENDY Alexander last night became the first party leader in British political history to face suspension from the parliament in which she sits, after being punished for breaking the rules on donations. In a new and damaging blow to her leadership of the Scottish Labour Party, she was given a one-day suspension by the Holyrood standards committee for failing to declare donations to her successful leadership campaign last year.

SCRIPT by Doug Brown

Eternal Boy: The land where naybody grows upís goat tae be ra best. Aye, An ave a wee roun o golf up in Aberdeen tae look forward tae wance the planniní goes through an a get mah lifetime membership!

Wendy: Aye but itís no so good fur me. No noo!

Elernal Boy: Howís rat ren - Hen! Is ris no the land of milk an honey?

Wendy: Itís aw right fur youís flyin awe over ra place, but Ahím on the losiní side.

Eternal Boy: Calm doon Hen, rares aye a pose-itive side tae everyhiní it wuz jist eight wee gifts ahn besides yehíre getting an extra wee holiday?

Wendy: Aye but mah cedibilityís in tatters an your lot want me hung, draw and quartered.

Eternal Boy: Strictly speakiní aye, but Ďthough rats as good as a day oot at B&Q, tell me ris, Hen! Are yeís still up furra referendum?

Wendy: Oan Independence, Aye!

Eternal Boy: (Giving Wendy a big hug)
Aye yer still mah favourite - so fur goad sake donít stoan doon.

Wendy: Itís awe right fur youís. Youís donít huvíty worry boot people telliní yae whitae dae, except maybe fur yon Trump guy.

Eternal boy: Up-tae a point Hen, consider how much I respect oany man rat can cover his entire heed wie jist two hairs growiní oot is ears! But,Trumpís no mah real concern, itís rat ither edjit!

Wendy: Aye yehíve goat a point, Neverland would be more peaceful if it wusny fur rat one-eyed, hondless git!

Eternal Boy: Who Hook?

Wendy: Naw, Broon!
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