The very best in humorous scripts and sketches.

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Humorous Scripts: Ra Bestest Wee Country in Ra Wurld Author: Douglas Brown

Visitors not impressed by worst wee slogan in the world

Fergie: Whit dae yer think is’the best wee country in ra World?’

Hector: Wus it yon Forto Ventura or yon Tenner Riefy?

Fergie: Naw! Try a bit closer Hector!

Hector: Wus it Bute or ra Wee Cumbrae ren?

Fergie: Ahm diserpointed, yer jist no tryin! Ah’ll gie ye a clue Hector: Ye know wee Jack the Flash?

Hector: Aye, McConnell oor last Scottish First Minister.

Fergie: Right, So who dae yer think spent £244,000 oh oor money oan puttin’ posters up in every Scottish Airport?

Hector: Wus that yon Wendy Alexander?

Fergie: Naw! Ah gae up wie yous! It wus Jack McConnell tryin tae sell a new image fur Scotland.

Hector: Did it work?

Fergie: Naw it jist made us ra laughin stock o’ ra States, China an Germany. They still see us as a nation o’ bagpipes, kilts and whisky!

Hector: Never mind Fergie, wie ony luck we’ll get some o’ yon £244,000 back. So open yer bagpipe case an stick yer bottle in yer sporran ‘cause, oor audience awaits!
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