An Ideal Husband, by Oscar Wilde
SECOND ACT SCENE Morning-room at Sir Robert
[LORD GORING, dressed in the height of fashion, is lounging in an armchair.
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN is standing in front of the fireplace. He is evidently
in a state of great mental excitement and distress. As the scene progresses
he paces nervously up and down the room.]
Lord Goring. My dear Robert, it's a very awkward business, very awkward
indeed. You should have told your wife the whole thing. Secrets from other
people's wives are a necessary luxury in modern life. So, at least, I am
always told at the club by people who are bald enough to know better. But no
man should have a secret from his own wife. She invariably finds it out.
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything
except the obvious.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Arthur, I couldn't tell my wife. When could I have told
her? Not last night. It would have made a life-long separation between us,
and I would have lost the love of the one woman in the world I worship, of
the only woman who has ever stirred love within me. Last night it would have
been quite impossible. She would have turned from me in horror . . . in
horror and in contempt.
Lord Goring. Is Lady Chiltern as perfect as all that?
Sir Robert Chiltern. Yes; my wife is as perfect as all that.
Lord Goring. [Taking off his left-hand glove.] What a pity! I beg your
pardon, my dear fellow, I didn't quite mean that. But if what you tell me is
true, I should like to have a serious talk about life with Lady Chiltern.
Sir Robert Chiltern. It would be quite useless.
Lord Goring. May I try?
Sir Robert Chiltern. Yes; but nothing could make her alter her views.
Lord Goring. Well, at the worst it would simply be a psychological
Sir Robert Chiltern. All such experiments are terribly dangerous.
Lord Goring. Everything is dangerous, my dear fellow. If it wasn't so, life
wouldn't be worth living. . . . Well, I am bound to say that I think you
should have told her years ago.
Sir Robert Chiltern. When? When we were engaged? Do you think she would have
married me if she had known that the origin of my fortune is such as it is,
the basis of my career such as it is, and that I had done a thing that I
suppose most men would call shameful and dishonourable?
Lord Goring. [Slowly.] Yes; most men would call it ugly names. There is no
doubt of that.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Bitterly.] Men who every day do something of the same
kind themselves. Men who, each one of them, have worse secrets in their own
Lord Goring. That is the reason they are so pleased to find out other
people's secrets. It distracts public attention from their own.
Sir Robert Chiltern. And, after all, whom did I wrong by what I did? No one.
Lord Goring. [Looking at him steadily.] Except yourself, Robert.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [After a pause.] Of course I had private information
about a certain transaction contemplated by the Government of the day, and I
acted on it. Private information is practically the source of every large
Lord Goring. [Tapping his boot with his cane.] And public scandal invariably
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Pacing up and down the room.] Arthur, do you think
that what I did nearly eighteen years ago should be brought up against me
now? Do you think it fair that a man's whole career should be ruined for a
fault done in one's boyhood almost? I was twenty-two at the time, and I had
the double misfortune of being well-born and poor, two unforgiveable things
nowadays. Is it fair that the folly, the sin of one's youth, if men choose
to call it a sin, should wreck a life like mine, should place me in the
pillory, should shatter all that I have worked for, all that I have built
up. Is it fair, Arthur?
Lord Goring. Life is never fair, Robert. And perhaps it is a good thing for
most of us that it is not.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Every man of ambition has to fight his century with its
own weapons. What this century worships is wealth. The God of this century
is wealth. To succeed one must have wealth. At all costs one must have
Lord Goring. You underrate yourself, Robert. Believe me, without wealth you
could have succeeded just as well.
Sir Robert Chiltern. When I was old, perhaps. When I had lost my passion for
power, or could not use it. When I was tired, worn out, disappointed. I
wanted my success when I was young. Youth is the time for success. I
Lord Goring. Well, you certainly have had your success while you are still
young. No one in our day has had such a brilliant success. Under-Secretary
for Foreign Affairs at the age of forty - that's good enough for any one, I
Sir Robert Chiltern. And if it is all taken away from me now? If I lose
everything over a horrible scandal? If I am hounded from public life?
Lord Goring. Robert, how could you have sold yourself for money?
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Excitedly.] I did not sell myself for money. I bought
success at a great price. That is all.
Lord Goring. [Gravely.] Yes; you certainly paid a great price for it. But
what first made you think of doing such a thing?
Sir Robert Chiltern. Baron Arnheim.
Lord Goring. Damned scoundrel!
Sir Robert Chiltern. No; he was a man of a most subtle and refined
intellect. A man of culture, charm, and distinction. One of the most
intellectual men I ever met.
Lord Goring. Ah! I prefer a gentlemanly fool any day. There is more to be
said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration
for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose. But how did he do
it? Tell me the whole thing.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Throws himself into an armchair by the writing-table.]
One night after dinner at Lord Radley's the Baron began talking about
success in modern life as something that one could reduce to an absolutely
definite science. With that wonderfully fascinating quiet voice of his he
expounded to us the most terrible of all philosophies, the philosophy of
power, preached to us the most marvellous of all gospels, the gospel of
gold. I think he saw the effect he had produced on me, for some days
afterwards he wrote and asked me to come and see him. He was living then in
Park Lane, in the house Lord Woolcomb has now. I remember so well how, with
a strange smile on his pale, curved lips, he led me through his wonderful
picture gallery, showed me his tapestries, his enamels, his jewels, his
carved ivories, made me wonder at the strange loveliness of the luxury in
which he lived; and then told me that luxury was nothing but a background, a
painted scene in a play, and that power, power over other men, power over
the world, was the one thing worth having, the one supreme pleasure worth
knowing, the one joy one never tired of, and that in our century only the
rich possessed it.
Lord Goring. [With great deliberation.] A thoroughly shallow creed.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Rising.] I didn't think so then. I don't think so now.
Wealth has given me enormous power. It gave me at the very outset of my life
freedom, and freedom is everything. You have never been poor, and never
known what ambition is. You cannot understand what a wonderful chance the
Baron gave me. Such a chance as few men get.
Lord Goring. Fortunately for them, if one is to judge by results. But tell
me definitely, how did the Baron finally persuade you to - well, to do what
Sir Robert Chiltern. When I was going away he said to me that if I ever
could give him any private information of real value he would make me a very
rich man. I was dazed at the prospect he held out to me, and my ambition and
my desire for power were at that time boundless. Six weeks later certain
private documents passed through my hands.
Lord Goring. [Keeping his eyes steadily fixed on the carpet.] State
Sir Robert Chiltern. Yes. [LORD GORING sighs, then passes his hand across
his forehead and looks up.]
Lord Goring. I had no idea that you, of all men in the world, could have
been so weak, Robert, as to yield to such a temptation as Baron Arnheim held
out to you.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Weak? Oh, I am sick of hearing that phrase. Sick of
using it about others. Weak? Do you really think, Arthur, that it is
weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible
temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to. To
stake all one's life on a single moment, to risk everything on one throw,
whether the stake be power or pleasure, I care not - there is no weakness in
that. There is a horrible, a terrible courage. I had that courage. I sat
down the same afternoon and wrote Baron Arnheim the letter this woman now
holds. He made three-quarters of a million over the transaction
Lord Goring. And you?
Sir Robert Chiltern. I received from the Baron 110,000 pounds.
Lord Goring. You were worth more, Robert.
Sir Robert Chiltern. No; that money gave me exactly what I wanted, power
over others. I went into the House immediately. The Baron advised me in
finance from time to time. Before five years I had almost trebled my
fortune. Since then everything that I have touched has turned out a success.
In all things connected with money I have had a luck so extraordinary that
sometimes it has made me almost afraid. I remember having read somewhere, in
some strange book, that when the gods wish to punish us they answer our
Lord Goring. But tell me, Robert, did you never suffer any regret for what
you had done?
Sir Robert Chiltern. No. I felt that I had fought the century with its own
weapons, and won.
Lord Goring. [Sadly.] You thought you had won.
Sir Robert Chiltern. I thought so. [After a long pause.] Arthur, do you
despise me for what I have told you?
Lord Goring. [With deep feeling in his voice.] I am very sorry for you,
Robert, very sorry indeed.
Sir Robert Chiltern. I don't say that I suffered any remorse. I didn't. Not
remorse in the ordinary, rather silly sense of the word. But I have paid
conscience money many times. I had a wild hope that I might disarm destiny.
The sum Baron Arnheim gave me I have distributed twice over in public
charities since then.
Lord Goring. [Looking up.] In public charities? Dear me! what a lot of harm
you must have done, Robert!
Sir Robert Chiltern. Oh, don't say that, Arthur; don't talk like that!
Lord Goring. Never mind what I say, Robert! I am always saying what I
shouldn't say. In fact, I usually say what I really think. A great mistake
nowadays. It makes one so liable to be misunderstood. As regards this
dreadful business, I will help you in whatever way I can. Of course you know
Sir Robert Chiltern. Thank you, Arthur, thank you. But what is to be done?
What can be done?
Lord Goring. [Leaning back with his hands in his pockets.] Well, the English
can't stand a man who is always saying he is in the right, but they are very
fond of a man who admits that he has been in the wrong. It is one of the
best things in them. However, in your case, Robert, a confession would not
do. The money, if you will allow me to say so, is . . . awkward. Besides, if
you did make a clean breast of the whole affair, you would never be able to
talk morality again. And in England a man who can't talk morality twice a
week to a large, popular, immoral audience is quite over as a serious
politician. There would be nothing left for him as a profession except
Botany or the Church. A confession would be of no use. It would ruin you.
Sir Robert Chiltern. It would ruin me. Arthur, the only thing for me to do
now is to fight the thing out.
Lord Goring. [Rising from his chair.] I was waiting for you to say that,
Robert. It is the only thing to do now. And you must begin by telling your
wife the whole story.
Sir Robert Chiltern. That I will not do.
Lord Goring. Robert, believe me, you are wrong.
Sir Robert Chiltern. I couldn't do it. It would kill her love for me. And
now about this woman, this Mrs. Cheveley. How can I defend myself against
her? You knew her before, Arthur, apparently.
Lord Goring. Yes.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Did you know her well?
Lord Goring. [Arranging his necktie.] So little that I got engaged to be
married to her once, when I was staying at the Tenbys'. The affair lasted
for three days . . . nearly.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Why was it broken off?
Lord Goring. [Airily.] Oh, I forget. At least, it makes no matter. By the
way, have you tried her with money? She used to be confoundedly fond of
Sir Robert Chiltern. I offered her any sum she wanted. She refused.
Lord Goring. Then the marvellous gospel of gold breaks down sometimes. The
rich can't do everything, after all.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Not everything. I suppose you are right. Arthur, I feel
that public disgrace is in store for me. I feel certain of it. I never knew
what terror was before. I know it now. It is as if a hand of ice were laid
upon one's heart. It is as if one's heart were beating itself to death in
some empty hollow.
Lord Goring. [Striking the table.] Robert, you must fight her. You must
Sir Robert Chiltern. But how?
Lord Goring. I can't tell you how at present. I have not the smallest idea.
But every one has some weak point. There is some flaw in each one of us.
[Strolls to the fireplace and looks at himself in the glass.] My father
tells me that even I have faults. Perhaps I have. I don't know.
Sir Robert Chiltern. In defending myself against Mrs. Cheveley, I have a
right to use any weapon I can find, have I not?
Lord Goring. [Still looking in the glass.] In your place I don't think I
should have the smallest scruple in doing so. She is thoroughly well able to
take care of herself.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Sits down at the table and takes a pen in his hand.]
Well, I shall send a cipher telegram to the Embassy at Vienna, to inquire if
there is anything known against her. There may be some secret scandal she
might be afraid of.
Lord Goring. [Settling his buttonhole.] Oh, I should fancy Mrs. Cheveley is
one of those very modern women of our time who find a new scandal as
becoming as a new bonnet, and air them both in the Park every afternoon at
five-thirty. I am sure she adores scandals, and that the sorrow of her life
at present is that she can't manage to have enough of them.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Writing.] Why do you say that?
Lord Goring. [Turning round.] Well, she wore far too much rouge last night,
and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Striking a bell.] But it is worth while my wiring to
Vienna, is it not?
Lord Goring. It is always worth while asking a question, though it is not
always worth while answering one.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Is Mr. Trafford in his room?
Mason. Yes, Sir Robert.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Puts what he has written into an envelope, which he
then carefully closes.] Tell him to have this sent off in cipher at once.
There must not be a moment's delay.
Mason. Yes, Sir Robert.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Oh! just give that back to me again.
[Writes something on the envelope. MASON then goes out with the letter.]
Sir Robert Chiltern. She must have had some curious hold over Baron Arnheim.
I wonder what it was.
Lord Goring. [Smiling.] I wonder.
Sir Robert Chiltern. I will fight her to the death, as long as my wife knows
Lord Goring. [Strongly.] Oh, fight in any case - in any case.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [With a gesture of despair.] If my wife found out,
there would be little left to fight for. Well, as soon as I hear from
Vienna, I shall let you know the result. It is a chance, just a chance, but
I believe in it. And as I fought the age with its own weapons, I will fight
her with her weapons. It is only fair, and she looks like a woman with a
past, doesn't she?
Lord Goring. Most pretty women do. But there is a fashion in pasts just as
there is a fashion in frocks. Perhaps Mrs. Cheveley's past is merely a
slightly DECOLLETE one, and they are excessively popular nowadays. Besides,
my dear Robert, I should not build too high hopes on frightening Mrs.
Cheveley. I should not fancy Mrs. Cheveley is a woman who would be easily
frightened. She has survived all her creditors, and she shows wonderful
presence of mind.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Oh! I live on hopes now. I clutch at every chance. I
feel like a man on a ship that is sinking. The water is round my feet, and
the very air is bitter with storm. Hush! I hear my wife's voice.
[Enter LADY CHILTERN in walking dress.]
Lady Chiltern. Good afternoon, Lord Goring!
Lord Goring. Good afternoon, Lady Chiltern! Have you been in the Park?
Lady Chiltern. No; I have just come from the Woman's Liberal Association,
where, by the way, Robert, your name was received with loud applause, and
now I have come in to have my tea. [To LORD GORING.] You will wait and have
some tea, won't you?
Lord Goring. I'll wait for a short time, thanks.
Lady Chiltern. I will be back in a moment. I am only going to take my hat
Lord Goring. [In his most earnest manner.] Oh! please don't. It is so
pretty. One of the prettiest hats I ever saw. I hope the Woman's Liberal
Association received it with loud applause.
Lady Chiltern. [With a smile.] We have much more important work to do than
look at each other's bonnets, Lord Goring.
Lord Goring. Really? What sort of work?
Lady Chiltern. Oh! dull, useful, delightful things, Factory Acts, Female
Inspectors, the Eight Hours' Bill, the Parliamentary Franchise. . . .
Everything, in fact, that you would find thoroughly uninteresting.
Lord Goring. And never bonnets?
Lady Chiltern. [With mock indignation.] Never bonnets, never!
[LADY CHILTERN goes out through the door leading to her boudoir.]
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Takes LORD GORING'S hand.] You have been a good friend
to me, Arthur, a thoroughly good friend.
Lord Goring. I don't know that I have been able to do much for you, Robert,
as yet. In fact, I have not been able to do anything for you, as far as I
can see. I am thoroughly disappointed with myself.
Sir Robert Chiltern. You have enabled me to tell you the truth. That is
something. The truth has always stifled me.
Lord Goring. Ah! the truth is a thing I get rid of as soon as possible! Bad
habit, by the way. Makes one very unpopular at the club . . . with the older
members. They call it being conceited. Perhaps it is.
Sir Robert Chiltern. I would to God that I had been able to tell the truth .
. . to live the truth. Ah! that is the great thing in life, to live the
truth. [Sighs, and goes towards the door.] I'll see you soon again, Arthur,
Lord Goring. Certainly. Whenever you like. I'm going to look in at the
Bachelors' Ball to-night, unless I find something better to do. But I'll
come round to-morrow morning. If you should want me to- night by any chance,
send round a note to Curzon Street.
Sir Robert Chiltern. Thank you.
[As he reaches the door, LADY CHILTERN enters from her boudoir.]
Lady Chiltern. You are not going, Robert?
Sir Robert Chiltern. I have some letters to write, dear.
Lady Chiltern. [Going to him.] You work too hard, Robert. You seem never to
think of yourself, and you are looking so tired.
Sir Robert Chiltern. It is nothing, dear, nothing.
[He kisses her and goes out.]
Lady Chiltern. [To LORD GORING.] Do sit down. I am so glad you have called.
I want to talk to you about . . . well, not about bonnets, or the Woman's
Liberal Association. You take far too much interest in the first subject,
and not nearly enough in the second.
Lord Goring. You want to talk to me about Mrs. Cheveley?
Lady Chiltern. Yes. You have guessed it. After you left last night I found
out that what she had said was really true. Of course I made Robert write
her a letter at once, withdrawing his promise.
Lord Goring. So he gave me to understand.
Lady Chiltern. To have kept it would have been the first stain on a career
that has been stainless always. Robert must be above reproach. He is not
like other men. He cannot afford to do what other men do. [She looks at LORD
GORING, who remains silent.] Don't you agree with me? You are Robert's
greatest friend. You are our greatest friend, Lord Goring. No one, except
myself, knows Robert better than you do. He has no secrets from me, and I
don't think he has any from you.
Lord Goring. He certainly has no secrets from me. At least I don't think so.
Lady Chiltern. Then am I not right in my estimate of him? I know I am right.
But speak to me frankly.
Lord Goring. [Looking straight at her.] Quite frankly?
Lady Chiltern. Surely. You have nothing to conceal, have you?
Lord Goring. Nothing. But, my dear Lady Chiltern, I think, if you will allow
me to say so, that in practical life-
Lady Chiltern. [Smiling.] Of which you know so little, Lord Goring-
Lord Goring. Of which I know nothing by experience, though I know something
by observation. I think that in practical life there is something about
success, actual success, that is a little unscrupulous, something about
ambition that is unscrupulous always. Once a man has set his heart and soul
on getting to a certain point, if he has to climb the crag, he climbs the
crag; if he has to walk in the mire-
Lady Chiltern. Well?
Lord Goring. He walks in the mire. Of course I am only talking generally
Lady Chiltern. [Gravely.] I hope so. Why do you look at me so strangely,
Lord Goring. Lady Chiltern, I have sometimes thought that . . . perhaps you
are a little hard in some of your views on life. I think that . . . often
you don't make sufficient allowances. In every nature there are elements of
weakness, or worse than weakness. Supposing, for instance, that - that any
public man, my father, or Lord Merton, or Robert, say, had, years ago,
written some foolish letter to some one . . .
Lady Chiltern. What do you mean by a foolish letter?
Lord Goring. A letter gravely compromising one's position. I am only putting
an imaginary case.
Lady Chiltern. Robert is as incapable of doing a foolish thing as he is of
doing a wrong thing.
Lord Goring. [After a long pause.] Nobody is incapable of doing a foolish
thing. Nobody is incapable of doing a wrong thing.
Lady Chiltern. Are you a Pessimist? What will the other dandies say? They
will all have to go into mourning.
Lord Goring. [Rising.] No, Lady Chiltern, I am not a Pessimist. Indeed I am
not sure that I quite know what Pessimism really means. All I do know is
that life cannot be understood without much charity, cannot be lived without
much charity. It is love, and not German philosophy, that is the true
explanation of this world, whatever may be the explanation of the next. And
if you are ever in trouble, Lady Chiltern, trust me absolutely, and I will
help you in every way I can. If you ever want me, come to me for my
assistance, and you shall have it. Come at once to me.
Lady Chiltern. [Looking at him in surprise.] Lord Goring, you are talking
quite seriously. I don't think I ever heard you talk seriously before.
Lord Goring. [Laughing.] You must excuse me, Lady Chiltern. It won't occur
again, if I can help it.
Lady Chiltern. But I like you to be serious.
[Enter MABEL CHILTERN, in the most ravishing frock.]
Mabel Chiltern. Dear Gertrude, don't say such a dreadful thing to Lord
Goring. Seriousness would be very unbecoming to him. Good afternoon Lord
Goring! Pray be as trivial as you can.
Lord Goring. I should like to, Miss Mabel, but I am afraid I am . . . a
little out of practice this morning; and besides, I have to be going now.
Mabel Chiltern. Just when I have come in! What dreadful manners you have! I
am sure you were very badly brought up.
Lord Goring. I was.
Mabel Chiltern. I wish I had brought you up!
Lord Goring. I am so sorry you didn't.
Mabel Chiltern. It is too late now, I suppose
Lord Goring. [Smiling.] I am not so sure.
Mabel Chiltern. Will you ride to-morrow morning?
Lord Goring. Yes, at ten.
Mabel Chiltern. Don't forget
Lord Goring. Of course I shan't. By the way, Lady Chiltern, there is no list
of your guests in THE MORNING POST of to-day. It has apparently been crowded
out by the County Council, or the Lambeth Conference, or something equally
boring. Could you let me have a list? I have a particular reason for asking
Lady Chiltern. I am sure Mr. Trafford will be able to give you one.
Lord Goring. Thanks, so much.
Mabel Chiltern. Tommy is the most useful person in London.
Lord Goring. [Turning to her.] And who is the most ornamental?
Mabel Chiltern. [Triumphantly.] I am.
Lord Goring. How clever of you to guess it! [Takes up his hat and cane.]
Good-bye, Lady Chiltern! You will remember what I said to you, won't you?
Lady Chiltern. Yes; but I don't know why you said it to me.
Lord Goring. I hardly know myself. Good-bye, Miss Mabel!
Mabel Chiltern. [With a little moue of disappointment.] I wish you were not
going. I have had four wonderful adventures this morning; four and a half,
in fact. You might stop and listen to some of them.
Lord Goring. How very selfish of you to have four and a half! There won't be
any left for me.
Mabel Chiltern. I don't want you to have any. They would not be good for
Lord Goring. That is the first unkind thing you have ever said to me. How
charmingly you said it! Ten to-morrow.
Mabel Chiltern. Sharp.
Lord Goring. Quite sharp. But don't bring Mr. Trafford.
Mabel Chiltern. [With a little toss of the head.] Of course I shan't bring
Tommy Trafford. Tommy Trafford is in great disgrace.
Lord Goring. I am delighted to hear it. [Bows and goes out.]
Mabel Chiltern. Gertrude, I wish you would speak to Tommy Trafford.
Lady Chiltern. What has poor Mr. Trafford done this time? Robert says he is
the best secretary he has ever had.
Mabel Chiltern. Well, Tommy has proposed to me again. Tommy really does
nothing but propose to me. He proposed to me last night in the music-room,
when I was quite unprotected, as there was an elaborate trio going on. I
didn't dare to make the smallest repartee, I need hardly tell you. If I had,
it would have stopped the music at once. Musical people are so absurdly
unreasonable. They always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment
when one is longing to be absolutely deaf. Then he proposed to me in broad
daylight this morning, in front of that dreadful statue of Achilles. Really,
the things that go on in front of that work of art are quite appalling. The
police should interfere. At luncheon I saw by the glare in his eye that he
was going to propose again, and I just managed to check him in time by
assuring him that I was a bimetallist. Fortunately I don't know what
bimetallism means. And I don't believe anybody else does either. But the
observation crushed Tommy for ten minutes. He looked quite shocked. And then
Tommy is so annoying in the way he proposes. If he proposed at the top of
his voice, I should not mind so much. That might produce some effect on the
public. But he does it in a horrid confidential way. When Tommy wants to be
romantic he talks to one just like a doctor. I am very fond of Tommy, but
his methods of proposing are quite out of date. I wish, Gertrude, you would
speak to him, and tell him that once a week is quite often enough to propose
to any one, and that it should always be done in a manner that attracts some
Lady Chiltern. Dear Mabel, don't talk like that. Besides, Robert thinks very
highly of Mr. Trafford. He believes he has a brilliant future before him.
Mabel Chiltern. Oh! I wouldn't marry a man with a future before him for
anything under the sun.
Lady Chiltern. Mabel!
Mabel Chiltern. I know, dear. You married a man with a future, didn't you?
But then Robert was a genius, and you have a noble, self-sacrificing
character. You can stand geniuses. I have no, character at all, and Robert
is the only genius I could ever bear. As a rule, I think they are quite
impossible. Geniuses talk so much, don't they? Such a bad habit! And they
are always thinking about themselves, when I want them to be thinking about
me. I must go round now and rehearse at Lady Basildon's. You remember, we
are having tableaux, don't you? The Triumph of something, I don't know what!
I hope it will be triumph of me. Only triumph I am really interested in at
present. [Kisses LADY CHILTERN and goes out; then comes running back.] Oh,
Gertrude, do you know who is coming to see you? That dreadful Mrs. Cheveley,
in a most lovely gown. Did you ask her?
Lady Chiltern. [Rising.] Mrs. Cheveley! Coming to see me? Impossible!
Mabel Chiltern. I assure you she is coming upstairs, as large as life and
not nearly so natural.
Lady Chiltern. You need not wait, Mabel. Remember, Lady Basildon is
Mabel Chiltern. Oh! I must shake hands with Lady Markby. She is delightful.
I love being scolded by her.
Mason. Lady Markby. Mrs. Cheveley.
[Enter LADY MARKBY and MRS. CHEVELEY.]
Lady Chiltern. [Advancing to meet them.] Dear Lady Markby, how nice of you
to come and see me! [Shakes hands with her, and bows somewhat distantly to
MRS. CHEVELEY.] Won't you sit down, Mrs. Cheveley?
Mrs. Cheveley. Thanks. Isn't that Miss Chiltern? I should like so much to
Lady Chiltern. Mabel, Mrs. Cheveley wishes to know you.
[MABEL CHILTERN gives a little nod.]
Mrs. Cheveley. [Sitting down.] I thought your frock so charming last night,
Miss Chiltern. So simple and . . . suitable.
Mabel Chiltern. Really? I must tell my dressmaker. It will be such a
surprise to her. Good-bye, Lady Markby!
Lady Markby. Going already?
Mabel Chiltern. I am so sorry but I am obliged to. I am just off to
rehearsal. I have got to stand on my head in some tableaux.
Lady Markby. On your head, child? Oh! I hope not. I believe it is most
unhealthy. [Takes a seat on the sofa next LADY CHILTERN.]
Mabel Chiltern. But it is for an excellent charity: in aid of the
Undeserving, the only people I am really interested in. I am the secretary,
and Tommy Trafford is treasurer.
Mrs. Cheveley. And what is Lord Goring?
Mabel Chiltern. Oh! Lord Goring is president.
Mrs. Cheveley. The post should suit him admirably, unless he has
deteriorated since I knew him first.
Lady Markby. [Reflecting.] You are remarkably modern, Mabel. A little too
modern, perhaps. Nothing is so dangerous as being too modern. One is apt to
grow old-fashioned quite suddenly. I have known many instances of it
Mabel Chiltern. What a dreadful prospect!
Lady Markby. Ah! my dear, you need not be nervous. You will always be as
pretty as possible. That is the best fashion there is, and the only fashion
that England succeeds in setting.
Mabel Chiltern. [With a curtsey.] Thank you so much, Lady Markby, for
England . . . and myself. [Goes out.]
Lady Markby. [Turning to LADY CHILTERN.] Dear Gertrude, we just called to
know if Mrs. Cheveley's diamond brooch has been found.
Lady Chiltern. Here?
Mrs. Cheveley. Yes. I missed it when I got back to Claridge's, and I thought
I might possibly have dropped it here.
Lady Chiltern. I have heard nothing about it. But I will send for the butler
and ask. [Touches the bell.]
Mrs. Cheveley. Oh, pray don't trouble, Lady Chiltern. I dare say I lost it
at the Opera, before we came on here.
Lady Markby. Ah yes, I suppose it must have been at the Opera. The fact is,
we all scramble and jostle so much nowadays that I wonder we have anything
at all left on us at the end of an evening. I know myself that, when I am
coming back from the Drawing Room, I always feel as if I hadn't a shred on
me, except a small shred of decent reputation, just enough to prevent the
lower classes making painful observations through the windows of the
carriage. The fact is that our Society is terribly over-populated. Really,
some one should arrange a proper scheme of assisted emigration. It would do
a great deal of good.
Mrs. Cheveley. I quite agree with you, Lady Markby. It is nearly six years
since I have been in London for the Season, and I must say Society has
become dreadfully mixed. One sees the oddest people everywhere.
Lady Markby. That is quite true, dear. But one needn't know them. I'm sure I
don't know half the people who come to my house. Indeed, from all I hear, I
shouldn't like to.
Lady Chiltern. What sort of a brooch was it that you lost, Mrs. Cheveley?
Mrs. Cheveley. A diamond snake-brooch with a ruby, a rather large ruby.
Lady Markby. I thought you said there was a sapphire on the head, dear?
MRS. CHEVELEY [Smiling.] No, lady Markby - a ruby.
Lady Markby. [Nodding her head.] And very becoming, I am quite sure.
Lady Chiltern. Has a ruby and diamond brooch been found in any of the rooms
this morning, Mason?
Mason. No, my lady.
Mrs. Cheveley. It really is of no consequence, Lady Chiltern. I am so sorry
to have put you to any inconvenience.
Lady Chiltern. [Coldly.] Oh, it has been no inconvenience. That will do,
Mason. You can bring tea.
Lady Markby. Well, I must say it is most annoying to lose anything. I
remember once at Bath, years ago, losing in the Pump Room an exceedingly
handsome cameo bracelet that Sir John had given me. I don't think he has
ever given me anything since, I am sorry to say. He has sadly degenerated.
Really, this horrid House of Commons quite ruins our husbands for us. I
think the Lower House by far the greatest blow to a happy married life that
there has been since that terrible thing called the Higher Education of
Women was invented.
Lady Chiltern. Ah! it is heresy to say that in this house, Lady Markby.
Robert is a great champion of the Higher Education of Women, and so, I am
afraid, am I.
Mrs. Cheveley. The higher education of men is what I should like to see. Men
need it so sadly.
Lady Markby. They do, dear. But I am afraid such a scheme would be quite
unpractical. I don't think man has much capacity for development. He has got
as far as he can, and that is not far, is it? With regard to women, well,
dear Gertrude, you belong to the younger generation, and I am sure it is all
right if you approve of it. In my time, of course, we were taught not to
understand anything. That was the old system, and wonderfully interesting it
was. I assure you that the amount of things I and my poor dear sister were
taught not to understand was quite extraordinary. But modern women
understand everything, I am told.
Mrs. Cheveley. Except their husbands. That is the one thing the modern woman
Lady Markby. And a very good thing too, dear, I dare say. It might break up
many a happy home if they did. Not yours, I need hardly say, Gertrude. You
have married a pattern husband. I wish I could say as much for myself. But
since Sir John has taken to attending the debates regularly, which he never
used to do in the good old days, his language has become quite impossible.
He always seems to think that he is addressing the House, and consequently
whenever he discusses the state of the agricultural labourer, or the Welsh
Church, or something quite improper of that kind, I am obliged to send all
the servants out of the room. It is not pleasant to see one's own butler,
who has been with one for twenty-three years, actually blushing at the
side-board, and the footmen making contortions in corners like persons in
circuses. I assure you my life will be quite ruined unless they send John at
once to the Upper House. He won't take any interest in politics then, will
he? The House of Lords is so sensible. An assembly of gentlemen. But in his
present state, Sir John is really a great trial. Why, this morning before
breakfast was half over, he stood up on the hearthrug, put his hands in his
pockets, and appealed to the country at the top of his voice. I left the
table as soon as I had my second cup of tea, I need hardly say. But his
violent language could be heard all over the house! I trust, Gertrude, that
Sir Robert is not like that
Lady Chiltern. But I am very much interested in politics, Lady Markby. I
love to hear Robert talk about them.
Lady Markby. Well, I hope he is not as devoted to Blue Books as Sir John is.
I don't think they can be quite improving reading for any one.
Mrs. Cheveley. [Languidly.] I have never read a Blue Book. I prefer books .
. . in yellow covers.
Lady Markby. [Genially unconscious.] Yellow is a gayer colour, is it not? I
used to wear yellow a good deal in my early days, and would do so now if Sir
John was not so painfully personal in his observations, and a man on the
question of dress is always ridiculous, is he not?
Mrs. Cheveley. Oh, no! I think men are the only authorities on dress.
Lady Markby. Really? One wouldn't say so from the sort of hats they wear?
[The butler enters, followed by the footman. Tea is set on a smalltable
close to LADY CHILTERN.]
Lady Chiltern. May I give you some tea, Mrs. Cheveley?
Mrs. Cheveley. Thanks. [The butler hands MRS. CHEVELEY a cup of tea on a
Lady Chiltern. Some tea, Lady Markby?
Lady Markby. No thanks, dear. [The servants go out.] The fact is, I have
promised to go round for ten minutes to see poor Lady Brancaster, who is in
very great trouble. Her daughter, quite a well-brought-up girl, too, has
actually become engaged to be married to a curate in Shropshire. It is very
sad, very sad indeed. I can't understand this modern mania for curates. In
my time we girls saw them, of course, running about the place like rabbits.
But we never took any notice of them, I need hardly say. But I am told that
nowadays country society is quite honeycombed with them. I think it most
irreligious. And then the eldest son has quarrelled with his father, and it
is said that when they meet at the club Lord Brancaster always hides himself
behind the money article in THE TIMES. However, I believe that is quite a
common occurrence nowadays and that they have to take in extra copies of THE
TIMES at all the clubs in St. James's Street; there are so many sons who
won't have anything to do with their fathers, and so many fathers who won't
speak to their sons. I think myself, it is very much to be regretted.
Mrs. Cheveley. So do I. Fathers have so much to learn from their sons
Lady Markby. Really, dear? What?
Mrs. Cheveley. The art of living. The only really Fine Art we have produced
in modern times.
Lady Markby. [Shaking her head.] Ah! I am afraid Lord Brancaster knew a good
deal about that. More than his poor wife ever did.
[Turning to LADY CHILTERN.] You know Lady Brancaster, don't you, dear?
Lady Chiltern. Just slightly. She was staying at Langton last autumn, when
we were there.
Lady Markby. Well, like all stout women, she looks the very picture of
happiness, as no doubt you noticed. But there are many tragedies in her
family, besides this affair of the curate. Her own sister, Mrs. Jekyll, had
a most unhappy life; through no fault of her own, I am sorry to say. She
ultimately was so broken-hearted that she went into a convent, or on to the
operatic stage, I forget which. No; I think it was decorative art-needlework
she took up. I know she had lost all sense of pleasure in life. [Rising.]
And now, Gertrude, if you will allow me, I shall leave Mrs. Cheveley in your
charge and call back for her in a quarter of an hour. Or perhaps, dear Mrs.
Cheveley, you wouldn't mind waiting in the carriage while I am with Lady
Brancaster. As I intend it to be a visit of condolence, I shan't stay long.
Mrs. Cheveley. [Rising.] I don't mind waiting in the carriage at all,
provided there is somebody to look at one.
Lady Markby. Well, I hear the curate is always prowling about the house.
Mrs. Cheveley. I am afraid I am not fond of girl friends.
Lady Chiltern. [Rising.] Oh, I hope Mrs. Cheveley will stay here a little. I
should like to have a few minutes' conversation with her.
Mrs. Cheveley. How very kind of you, Lady Chiltern! Believe me, nothing
would give me greater pleasure.
Lady Markby. Ah! no doubt you both have many pleasant reminiscences of your
schooldays to talk over together. Good-bye, dear Gertrude! Shall I see you
at Lady Bonar's to-night? She has discovered a wonderful new genius. He does
. . . nothing at all, I believe. That is a great comfort, is it not?
Lady Chiltern. Robert and I are dining at home by ourselves to- night, and I
don't think I shall go anywhere afterwards. Robert, of course, will have to
be in the House. But there is nothing interesting on.
Lady Markby. Dining at home by yourselves? Is that quite prudent? Ah, I
forgot, your husband is an exception. Mine is the general rule, and nothing
ages a woman so rapidly as having married the general rule. [Exit LADY
Mrs. Cheveley. Wonderful woman, Lady Markby, isn't she? Talks more and says
less than anybody I ever met. She is made to be a public speaker. Much more
so than her husband, though he is a typical Englishman, always dull and
Lady Chiltern. [Makes no answer, but remains standing. There is a pause.
Then the eyes of the two women meet. LADY CHILTERN looks stern and pale.
MRS. CHEVELEY seem rather amused.] Mrs. Cheveley, I think it is right to
tell you quite frankly that, had I known who you really were, I should not
have invited you to my house last night.
Mrs. Cheveley [With an impertinent smile.] Really?
Lady Chiltern. I could not have done so.
Mrs. Cheveley. I see that after all these years you have not changed a bit,
Lady Chiltern. I never change.
Mrs. Cheveley [Elevating her eyebrows.] Then life has taught you nothing?
Lady Chiltern. It has taught me that a person who has once been guilty of a
dishonest and dishonourable action may be guilty of it a second time, and
should be shunned.
Mrs. Cheveley. Would you apply that rule to every one?
Lady Chiltern. Yes, to every one, without exception.
Mrs. Cheveley. Then I am sorry for you, Gertrude, very sorry for you.
Lady Chiltern. You see now, I was sure, that for many reasons any further
acquaintance between us during your stay in London is quite impossible?
Mrs. Cheveley. [Leaning back in her chair.] Do you know, Gertrude, I don't
mind your talking morality a bit. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike. You dislike me. I am quite aware
of that. And I have always detested you. And yet I have come here to do you
Lady Chiltern. [Contemptuously.] Like the service you wished to render my
husband last night, I suppose. Thank heaven, I saved him from that.
Mrs. Cheveley. [Starting to her feet.] It was you who made him write that
insolent letter to me? It was you who made him break his promise?
Lady Chiltern. Yes.
Mrs. Cheveley. Then you must make him keep it. I give you till to- morrow
morning - no more. If by that time your husband does not solemnly bind
himself to help me in this great scheme in which I am interested -
Lady Chiltern. This fraudulent speculation-
Mrs. Cheveley. Call it what you choose. I hold your husband in the hollow of
my hand, and if you are wise you will make him do what I tell him.
Lady Chiltern. [Rising and going towards her.] You are impertinent. What has
my husband to do with you? With a woman like you?
Mrs. Cheveley. [With a bitter laugh.] In this world like meets with like. It
is because your husband is himself fraudulent and dishonest that we pair so
well together. Between you and him there are chasms. He and I are closer
than friends. We are enemies linked together. The same sin binds us.
Lady Chiltern. How dare you class my husband with yourself? How dare you
threaten him or me? Leave my house. You are unfit to enter it.
[SIR ROBERT CHILTERN enters from behind. He hears his wife's last words, and
sees to whom they are addressed. He grows deadly pale.]
Mrs. Cheveley. Your house! A house bought with the price of dishonour. A
house, everything in which has been paid for by fraud.
[Turns round and sees SIR ROBERT CHILTERN.] Ask him what the origin of his
fortune is! Get him to tell you how he sold to a stockbroker a Cabinet
secret. Learn from him to what you owe your position.
Lady Chiltern. It is not true! Robert! It is not true!
Mrs. Cheveley. [Pointing at him with outstretched finger.] Look at him! Can
he deny it? Does he dare to?
Sir Robert Chiltern. Go! Go at once. You have done your worst now.
Mrs. Cheveley. My worst? I have not yet finished with you, with either of
you. I give you both till to-morrow at noon. If by then you don't do what I
bid you to do, the whole world shall know the origin of Robert Chiltern.
[SIR ROBERT CHILTERN strikes the bell. Enter MASON.]
Sir Robert Chiltern. Show Mrs. Cheveley out.
[MRS. CHEVELEY starts; then bows with somewhat exaggerated politeness to
LADY CHILTERN, who makes no sign of response. As she passes by SIR ROBERT
CHILTERN, who is standing close to the door, she pauses for a moment and
looks him straight in the face. She then goes out, followed by the servant,
who closes the door after him. The husband and wife are left alone. LADY
CHILTERN stands like some one in a dreadful dream. Then she turns round and
looks at her husband. She looks at him with strange eyes, as though she were
seeing him for the first time.]
Lady Chiltern. You sold a Cabinet secret for money! You began your life with
fraud! You built up your career on dishonour! Oh, tell me it is not true!
Lie to me! Lie to me! Tell me it is not true!
Sir Robert Chiltern. What this woman said is quite true. But, Gertrude,
listen to me. You don't realise how I was tempted. Let me tell you the whole
thing. [Goes towards her.]
Lady Chiltern. Don't come near me. Don't touch me. I feel as if you had
soiled me for ever. Oh! what a mask you have been wearing all these years! A
horrible painted mask! You sold yourself for money. Oh! a common thief were
better. You put yourself up to sale to the highest bidder! You were bought
in the market. You lied to the whole world. And yet you will not lie to me.
Sir Robert Chiltern. [Rushing towards her.] Gertrude! Gertrude!
Lady Chiltern. [Thrusting him back with outstretched hands.] No, don't
speak! Say nothing! Your voice wakes terrible memories - memories of things
that made me love you - memories of words that made me love you - memories
that now are horrible to me. And how I worshipped you! You were to me
something apart from common life, a thing pure, noble, honest, without
stain. The world seemed to me finer because you were in it, and goodness
more real because you lived. And now - oh, when I think that I made of a man
like you my ideal! the ideal of my life!
Sir Robert Chiltern. There was your mistake. There was your error. The error
all women commit. Why can't you women love us, faults and all? Why do you
place us on monstrous pedestals? We have all feet of clay, women as well as
men; but when we men love women, we love them knowing their weaknesses,
their follies, their imperfections, love them all the more, it may be, for
that reason. It is not the perfect, but the imperfect, who have need of
love. It is when we are wounded by our own hands, or by the hands of others,
that love should come to cure us - else what use is love at all? All sins,
except a sin against itself, Love should forgive. All lives, save loveless
lives, true Love should pardon. A man's love is like that. It is wider,
larger, more human than a woman's. Women think that they are making ideals
of men. What they are making of us are false idols merely. You made your
false idol of me, and I had not the courage to come down, show you my
wounds, tell you my weaknesses. I was afraid that I might lose your love, as
I have lost it now. And so, last night you ruined my life for me - yes,
ruined it! What this woman asked of me was nothing compared to what she
offered to me. She offered security, peace, stability. The sin of my youth,
that I had thought was buried, rose up in front of me, hideous, horrible,
with its hands at my throat. I could have killed it for ever, sent it back
into its tomb, destroyed its record, burned the one witness against me. You
prevented me. No one but you, you know it. And now what is there before me
but public disgrace, ruin, terrible shame, the mockery of the world, a
lonely dishonoured life, a lonely dishonoured death, it may be, some day?
Let women make no more ideals of men! let them not put them on alters and
bow before them, or they may ruin other lives as completely as you - you
whom I have so wildly loved - have ruined mine!
[He passes from the room. LADY CHILTERN rushes towards him, but the door is
closed when she reaches it. Pale with anguish, bewildered, helpless, she
sways like a plant in the water. Her hands, outstretched, stem to tremble in
the air like blossoms in the mind. Then she flings herself down beside a
sofa and buries her face. Her sobs are like the sobs of a child.]