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Humorous Scripts: Hollywood actresses go for Oscars Author: Stuart Macfarlane
Based on article: A classic Hollywood cliffhanger will conclude Sunday's Academy Awards, and organizers hope the suspense of an up-for-grabs best-picture race will be enough to keep TV audiences tuned in through the finale. Hollywood's biggest party has lost some of its lustre for viewers at home over the last decade, with TV ratings on a general decline and smaller movies that fewer people have seen dominating key Oscar categories. Fewer eyeballs on the movies usually translates to fewer eyeballs on the Oscar ceremony, as the TV audience feels less vested in the outcome. This time, though, the best-picture race is as wide open as it has been in years, lacking the usual front-runner or two that everyone just knows will end up winning.

Source: Date: 24th February 2007



Scene: At the bar of a seedy Hollywood Hotel.

Hag Actress #1: So how many Oscars are you up for this year?

Hag Actress #2: Twenty-seven.

Hag Actress #1: Ooooh - that's even more than last year.

Hag Actress #2: Well some of us have got it and (looking Hag #2 up and down) some of us most definitely have not.

Hag Actress #1: Mmmm - so what makes you so special?

Hag Actress #2: Talent, beauty, charm, charisma, popularity . . .

Hag Actress #1: Yeah - and legs that are so prised open the bloody Queen Mary could sail right up!!

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