MANAGER Do come in Mr Cash please take a seat.
CASH [NURD] Thank you Mr Nash, but I’d rather
MANAGER You may stand on it if you wish? Now How can I help
CASH I represent the local environmental
MANAGER [PATRONISING] I am sure that conservation is very good
cause Mr Cash.
CASH As you know the council are planning to cut
down than enormous but beautiful 150 year-old Ash tree that stands just outside
the entrance to your bank.
CASH Well, I am sure that it would be in your
interest, if together we organised a peaceful Save the Ash campaign.
And just how does this involve the Bank Mr Cash?
CASH I am sure it would be in your interest to
make a donation of three thousand pounds to conserve a local centre of
MANAGER [SMARMY] I think that you are a little confused about the way
in which the bank operates Mr Cash. We are not a charity. As far as our
interest is concerned a loan could be negotiated at an amenable rate, provided
your organisation can supply the necessary guarantees.
CASH I'm sorry Mr Nash, but I don't quite follow your
BANK MANAGER Then
perhaps I could make it a bit simpler.
CASH Yes I would appreciate that.
MANAGER The Bank of Nash will provide the cash to save the Ash if they
can recover the stash from your bash.
I hear you correctly, Mr Nash, you are not only referring to our campaign as
a Bash, but you seem to be unduly concerned that if there was a clash, the cash
from the Nash stash could be lost in a flash.
BANK MANAGER If there is a clash, the
cash in the stash, Mr Cash, would be in the trash in a flash.
CASH But surely you can see that the Ash will be in
the trash if there is no bash? We are, after all, keeping the good interests of
the Bank of Nash in mind, Mr Nash.
BANK MANAGER You
can only have your cash for the Bash to save the Ash, if the cash in
the stash is
returned in a flash Mr Cash.
CASH Well Mr Nash I think that you are a
littleconfused about the way in which a demolition company operates. It is
certainly not a charity and as Director for the campaign to Save the Ash and
Director of ‘Cash Demolitions Ltd’ I am now putting on the hard hat of the
latter. Having considered the interest of the Bank and having been refused the
guarantees, despite offering very amenable terms, you leave me little
Right Fred let her fall.
FX CLAXON SOUNDS
MANAGER My Bank!